Tuesday, May 24, 2011

About Ender Ilkay

Who is this Ender Ilkay character anyway?

Ender Ilkay: getting rich at your expense?
As far as we can tell, Ender Ilkay is a real estate speculator from another planet.  After landing on Earth, he made a name for himself in Toronto's booming real estate industry, and began business coaching for many top realtors across North America. Upon moving to West Vancouver in 2000, Ender began buying land and developing subdivisions, primarily in smaller waterfront communities throughout BC. His companies now own several thousand acres of land.  He lives with his wife Eleana, and their daughter attends Mulgrave school (a private gradeschool with yearly tuition costs of $15,800 per year... for grade 3!). Promoting sprawl in small waterfront communities must be a lucrative business indeed. Mr. Ilkay keeps up normal humman appearances by sitting on the school's board of directors and listing his hobbies as hiking, camping, skiing and mountain biking.

Unfortunately, Ender's successes in the corporate world have not translated into computer skills. He has many web sites, and most of them are broken or outdated.  His personal site is an empty wordpress blog with no posts, and many of his other domain names now forward to this site. Perhaps he's too busy fighting against public opposition to hire a web developer?

Having long since run out of room to expand in Toronto, Mr. Ilkay has brought his big-city attitudes to small communities around Vancouver Island.  His last failed proposal for a development in Jordan River would have increased the town's population by 1000% (assuming any of it sold).  His current development in Shirey (see Sheringham Point) remains a mudpit three years later, as no buyers have emerged.  Undaunted, his next project aims to once again bring sprawl to the Jordan River area, this time planning almost 300 cabins (where "cabin" means a privately-owned 2,000 sq. ft. dwelling) on the huge stretch of wilderness between the towns of Jordan River and Port Renfrew.  There are less than 300 residents in the entire region, yet Mr. Ilkay cannot understand why people are opposed to his development.

Mr. Ilkay is angry at local environmentaists, and has lately been losing his cool in public after hearings and board meetings. He has stated that he is being harassed by groups and individuals opposed to his project, showing no hint of understanding just why people are so against him and his ideas. He has repeatedly threatened to clearcut the entire area if his proposal doesn't go through (let's see him try! There's a reason that Western Forest Products sold him the land for a paltry $2 million dollars... logging it is unprofitable!) and is mad as hell at the wildcoast people, who used BC's mining legislation to scoop up the mineral rights to all his properties.

In Ender Ilkay's world, when citizens defend the public interest it is harassment. Apparently, Vanouver Island residents don't know what they want, and only rich and powerful real estate speculators can tell us what we really need.  There's a word which defines "a person... whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience." Say it with me: "sociopath"

(While creative license has been taken here, all factual statements are backed up by publicly accessible sources and are true to the best of our knowledge.  While it is doubtful that Ender Ilkay is physically from another planet, his attitudes seem alien enough to us)

Visitor submission: Ender Ilkay destroys the Juan de Fuca with his laser eyes!!

Here's an image sent in to me by Mary from Langford.  Great job with the lasers!

Ender Ilkay destroying the Juan de Fuca trail with his laser eyes! Burn burn burn. Can we stop this man from wrecking our wild coast?

roflbot!1! photo captioner

Here's a tool to easily caption photos. Find some good ones (google images search works well) and caption away! Or, add your slogans in the comments of this blog and I'll post them for you

Ender Ilkay from the Juan de Fuca trail: "This place would look better with pavement"

Ender Ilkay has a letter of support from the Pacheedaht First Nation for his Marine Trails Resort plan, despite most of the band being in opposition to the proposal.  Is this another example of colonialism and deceitful treaties? We're not sure, since the Pacheedaht chief is not willing to comment.  Maybe he accepted a little gift in exchange for his letter of support...

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Marine Trail Resort cabins soon coming to the Juan de Fuca trail

If Ender ilkay's Marine Trail Resort goes through, will the Juan de Fuca trail look like this?
The Marine Trail Resort proposal is being fast-tracked through the approval process. Local government is set to approve the plan in July 2011, and construction could begin shortly after.

Marine Trail Resort selling now! Developed by Ender Ilkay

Ender Ilkay's Marine Trail Resort: Coming soon?
Who doesn't love more clearcuts?

New properties on the Juan de Fuca Trail, thanks to Ender Ilkay

Can't see the forest for the trees? CUT THEM DOWN! Thank you Ender Ilkay for your Marine Trail Resort 
Ender Ilkay's proposal claims to be environmentally friendly.  In the next paragraph, the proposal mentions that trees will be thinned to allow cabins to have a view of the ocean.  Yet supposedly, these cabins will not be in sight of the trail. Confused? Yeah, us to. Another reason not to buy at the Marine Trail resort!

Ender Ikay's Marine Trail Resorts: another spoof ad

Love wilderness by clearcutting it? The Ender Ilkay way!
Ender Ilkay's Marine Trail Resort will bring clearcuts to the Juan de Fuca trail

Ender Ilkay's Marine Trail Resort

Clearcuts to the juan de fuca trail could begin later this year
Ender Ilkay's Marine Trail Resort, bordering on the Juan de Fuca trail, is set to gain approval from local government. Construction could begin as early as July 2011

Marine Trail Resort ad (spoof)

Marine Trail Resorts: new units selling by next year?
Ender Ilkay's Marine Trail Resort is set to pass CRD approval. Clearcutting could begin as early as this July

Marine Trail Resort "Selling Now" ad (spoof)

Marine Trail Resort: Juan de Fuca in 2012?

Ender Ilkay's Marine Trail Resort - spoof advertisements